I want this month to work
So.
Freaking.
Bad.
And I'm afraid that it won't. I'm terrified that it won't work. I'm freaking out that it won't work. Or that it won't take or won't last. And that all our money will be gone because we keep getting ginormous bills that I have no idea how we're going to pay.
Not that the money is what is important here... it's the BABY. I want a baby. I've wanted a baby since I was a baby. And I've had to wait almost 27 years now to get one... if it works this month. If not, the wait will continue for probably another couple years because we can't afford this again. My emotions can't afford this again. I am spent.
I hate the waiting game. The 2 weeks until you can pee on a stick. In my case this month it's a blood test... hooray... i wish they had a frequent rewards card or something that would get the 10th blood test free. Because I think I'd have at least 3 freebies by now.
*sigh*
And so we wait. Hopefully the wait will end in a little miracle. My little miracle.
I need a miracle.
Please keep praying for my miracle.
6 comments:
Briiiaaaaanne!!! Don't freak out. I promise things always work for your good when you keep in touch with God. He is molding you into a better person. :) All the same, I'm counting down the days with ya. Don't leave us all hanging next week......
I went through the exact same thing. I know exactly how you feel. I did ivf twice and the second time resulted in twins. Be patient. It will happen!
Praying!
Wow! I had no idea you were struggling with infertility! It's the worst! We did 5 rounds of IUIs, not fun, not cheap, not easy. I have PCOS, that's why we have infertility.
I pray you can receive your miracle! Don't give up, it's hard, but worth everything when you finally get your miracle!
Oh Brianne. I am so very sorry. I know exactly what that is like. Every single month is so painful. I feel like the joy I have in being a mother has multiplied because I waited so long for it and wanted it so much, and that has been a blessing. I hope it's the same for you. I will pray that your blessing comes soon.
I read this right when you posted but for some reason I couldn't post a comment...When I read this, I could feel every one of your emotions and you somehow transplanted me on your journey! Prayers have been with you!
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