The Waiting Game

I think my life long lesson will always be patience... I guess with all the waiting I've done I still haven't reached a patience zen so here I am, waiting once again for something.  In this case I am waiting for next week's results.

I want this month to work

 So.

Freaking.

Bad.

And I'm afraid that it won't. I'm terrified that it won't work.  I'm freaking out that it won't work.  Or that it won't take or won't last.  And that all our money will be gone because we keep getting ginormous bills that I have no idea how we're going to pay. 

Not that the money is what is important here... it's the BABY.  I want a baby. I've wanted a baby since I was a baby.  And I've had to wait almost 27 years now to get one... if it works this month.  If not, the wait will continue for probably another couple years because we can't afford this again.  My emotions can't afford this again.  I am spent.

 

I hate the waiting game. The 2 weeks until you can pee on a stick.  In my case this month it's a blood test... hooray... i wish they had a frequent rewards card or something that would get the 10th blood test free.  Because I think I'd have at least 3 freebies by now.

*sigh*

And so we wait.  Hopefully the wait will end in a little miracle.   My little miracle.

I need a miracle.

Please keep praying for my miracle.