Every now and then I fall apart... total eclipse of the heart

I think everyone is entitled to have a melt down now and then... But look at these kids, could you quit teaching them piano? They are so cute and they need me! I can't hand them over to some other crappy teacher (not that the other teachers are crappy). And so, I will continue teaching for another year. After that when I am out of contract and keep getting raises from StoresOnline, then I will quit because A) I can and B) I want to. But I can tough it out for another year. And when I have my meltdowns (because I'm sure I'm not done with them), I will remind myself that i only have a year left! That's not long at all! Especially with how fast everything has been going! I can do this!

Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?l

That's right, I've turned into a BASKETCASE... Seriously. This is basically a problem!! Um, I feel like I'm having this meltdown... and I don't think it's okay to be having a meltdown. I am feeling very overwhelmed/exhausted. Welcome to life, right? Right. But this feels like it has gotten out of control. I can't handle the whole "two job" thing along with being a good wife and keeping care of the house, laundry, food, everything. And what's sad is that those are things I ENJOY. Instead, I'm work work work work work working all the day and then come home exhausted. So my house is still not unpacked, decorated, and thank you cards have still not been written, though I am very grateful for the wedding presents we received!
I am so conflicted in what to do... I would like to quit "the second job," teaching for Art City Music Academy, but there are so many conflicts with that... I'm under a two year contract technically, my family is part of the Academy, I am THE Draper teacher, the parents and kids really like me... But I don't have time for all the extra little stuff that should and needs to go into teaching with the Academy. Quitting my StoresOnline job is not an option because I LOVE it and it pays the bills. Plus, it doesn't stress me out.
So what goes? Cooking healthy meals? It's more expensive and so not good to eat out all the time... Cleaning the bathroom? GROSS. Can't handle a dirty bathroom. Dustin already does the laundry and makes breakfast and lunch most of the time.... My church calling's not a problem because I just have to show up and go to Primary.... ME time where I get to do something for me? NO WAY. I'm already going crazy!
So really, what can I cut out to feel like there is balance in my life and that I'm doing going to break at any second? Cuz really, this exhaustion will be the death of me!

Tribute

It started out here... 5 years ago... Good old high school where we thought "The Greatest Story Ever Told" would be in those walls with the Don, and graduation, yes, we were living.

Then I went to college...

I moved into Rogers Hall, part of Heritage Halls at BYU and had GREAT roommates! Lauren Skidmore, Natalie Hansen, Brittany McEwen, Crystalee Webb, and Rachel Petersen. We were the Mag6. I thought I was grown up then, going to college classes, but sticking with my attractive high school boyfriend. It was all just fun and games for now anyway. I was a college girl with my cute short hair now and good friends. But I was still a freshman baby.















Now I was a sophomore, had successfully had one summer fling, and was living in The Elms... which was quite a dump. This was a year of growth as we each kinda found our place. Roommates were great again, Lauren, Jeanette, Rachel, Natalie, and Brittany, but there was occasionally some drama. Yay for teenage girls turning into women. Yep, by the end of my sophomore year I was 20! Who knew I could get so old!
Now after another summer fling and about 3 boys wanting to marry me, I was a junior. I was the "mom" of my Cinnamon Tree apartment which wasn't always easy. Sometimes these girls drove me NUTS. I really was a learning experience this year.... which really did include multiple boys wanting to marry me, breaking their hearts, getting my heart broken, turning 21, and finding out what I really wanted. Needless to say, it was an INTENSE year and I moved home (something I vowed I'd never do) for the summer.


This summer I had to say goodbye to my best friend Calista cuz she left for her mission! I was sad to say goodbye, worried about moving home and being a loser in the Salem Hills singles ward, but things actually started working out really well....

I went from LONG hair to super short hair again....











And started dating the greatest guy ever! Summer of 2007 Dustin and I started dating, even against all the controversy we received because it was "so weird." And yeah, it was weird at first, but then it was SO GOOD! I loved this boy... and I told him that, after the Def Leppard concert in September. Our dating life was on and off but really, when we were on a "break", nothing was ever different, we were still dating... and our love grew for each other.
















I moved in with some more awesome girls at the RG hood and we had a lot of fun together. My senior year was a GREAT year... but wait, what was that? SENIOR YEAR? OF COLLEGE? Man, I was a senior at BYU and still not married or even engaged... obviously something was wrong with me. ha ha ha. Dustin and I decide that we really were going to take a break which is actually a horrible story so I won't divulge... BUT that means that with graduation approaching, I had endless choices for what to do with post graduation life and work....


















So I graduated from BYU with a Bachelors of Science in the College of Family Life, major of Home and Family Living.












From there I quit my job that I had held from 08/04-04/08 working for Wymount Custodial, "cleaning because you can't" and went into the "real world" meaning Santa Barbara California and became a "nanny" for a family. It was the HARDEST and CRAPPIEST job ever. Not what I expected at all and not what I kicked my butt through college for... so I quit and moved back home to find another job.










Back at home I was with my family and friends and worked at Macey's bakery in Provo for... 3 days. My first day there I got a call from StoresOnline, a place I had applied for before but didn't make the cut, but they had another position available and wanted me to take it. So I quit Maceys and started working for StoresOnline in the preview express part of accounting. I also started teaching group piano lessons for Art City Music Academy in the Draper and Springville location.
I moved to Pleasant Grove and had unfortunate encounters with roommates.... and Dustin and I ended up deciding to get married! So I moved outta there as soon as I could, back to home, we got engaged, and then on March 14, 2009 we got married!
From May 2004 to May 2009, a lot has happened. I have grown and matured so much and experienced things I would never have dreamed of. I have traveled, gotten to know so many people, and made so many friends! I love my life and what I have gone through and I am even more excited for the next 5 years! Many great things will happen! Life is just amazing like that!

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me

I ate 4 cookies... before 9:30 this morning.... But they were really thin. Does that make it any better? I mean, they make cookie cereal so there's not much difference in actually eating a real cookie, right? Part of a well balanced breakfast?
No wonder married people get fat so quickly after marriage....

Singing in the Rain

Last night Dustin and I went up to Salt Lake to eating at the Melting Pot because.... well, I LOVE that place!!! Plus, we had a coupon so might as well, right? Well, it was POURING as we were driving up and then Dustin got soaked while he was putting the money in the little slot thing for parking payment so by the time we actually got into the restaurant, we were soaked, well, Dustin was soaked, I wasn't too bad. We got a great corner seat where we got to look outside and see the rain falling down and it made me want to go play and dance in the rain SO BAD! It was awesome to watch it! A couple weeks ago I had written for my facebook status that I wanted to eat biscuits and gravy, curl up in a warm blanket, dance in the rain, and watch a sappy movie. I was so pleased that I actually DID get to accomplish all the things I wanted to do in a weekend! It was so great! I love rain! I think it is so beautiful and refreshing! But you wanna know what else is refreshing? Doing things that you WANT to do! It feels SO GOOD! I had lunch with Calista and Andrea last week and Calista was telling us about this book she read and the lady described that as a child, if you wanted something, like say, a cookie, you would KICK and SCREAM until you got the cookie, right? So why is it that as adults, we want something, but then we have to rationalize our way to get it.... we're not good enough for the cookie, we can't afford the cookie, we really shouldn't eat the cookie. Well of course, as a child, there really are no consequences for eating the cookie.... You don't have to pay for the cookie, you don't have to make the cookie, you don't want the cookie because it will really be a cute boy handing you the cookie. Our motives and desires change as we become adults, but I say that there are still some things you can control as an adult that you should kick and scream for... because even though there are many sacrifices that come with growing up, you still have to take care of yourself and allow yourself to do things for YOU. So go get your cookies! Even if you have to kick and sream for them! Because you will be happy and then be able to take care of others even better because you are fulfilled with your needs.