That's right, I've turned into a BASKETCASE... Seriously. This is basically a problem!! Um, I feel like I'm having this meltdown... and I don't think it's okay to be having a meltdown. I am feeling very overwhelmed/exhausted. Welcome to life, right? Right. But this feels like it has gotten out of control. I can't handle the whole "two job" thing along with being a good wife and keeping care of the house, laundry, food, everything. And what's sad is that those are things I ENJOY. Instead, I'm work work work work work working all the day and then come home exhausted. So my house is still not unpacked, decorated, and thank you cards have still not been written, though I am very grateful for the wedding presents we received!
I am so conflicted in what to do... I would like to quit "the second job," teaching for Art City Music Academy, but there are so many conflicts with that... I'm under a two year contract technically, my family is part of the Academy, I am THE Draper teacher, the parents and kids really like me... But I don't have time for all the extra little stuff that should and needs to go into teaching with the Academy. Quitting my StoresOnline job is not an option because I LOVE it and it pays the bills. Plus, it doesn't stress me out.
So what goes? Cooking healthy meals? It's more expensive and so not good to eat out all the time... Cleaning the bathroom? GROSS. Can't handle a dirty bathroom. Dustin already does the laundry and makes breakfast and lunch most of the time.... My church calling's not a problem because I just have to show up and go to Primary.... ME time where I get to do something for me? NO WAY. I'm already going crazy!
So really, what can I cut out to feel like there is balance in my life and that I'm doing going to break at any second? Cuz really, this exhaustion will be the death of me!
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4 comments:
Oh Brianne. Life sucks sometimes! I'm STILL trying to find time for myself. If you really want to quit the piano job, don't feel guilty about it. If this is something you feel like you need to do, to be the best you, then do it!
Oh, and thanks for reminding me of this song!
I feel your pain! I wish I could say that I had some fabulous advice or perfect solution to finding balance, but I don't. :( It's so hard when you can't do the things you want to do, (even like housework and cooking,) because work is sucking the life out of you. I hope you feel better/figure something out soon!
I think this is how most women/wives feel. I don't know the answer but Jake's aunt put this on her blog the other day and I like it:
"Less is more. I remember that when I had six kids at home and was crazy busy, my Dad would tell me that I should just let some things go ~ like the house doesn't have to be perfect all the time. I didn't believe him then, I didn't want to give up anything - I wanted to do it all. But, he was right ~ I should have let some things go."
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